Manhood can be difficult. Being a “grown-up” is much harder. This is especially true for men because we are inherently stupid. Apparently when God gave us superior upper body strength, he used brain tissue to fill the gaps. I’m still trying to find my grownup sea legs. If you don’t know the difference between being an adult and being a grown-up, allow me to illuminate you.
An adult is anyone who has reached the ripe old age of 18 years of age. It’s a simple biological and chronological state. You don’t really have to do anything to be considered an adult, other than…not die. A grownup is an entirely different animal. Kids think all adults are grown-ups. They are not. In fact most adults these days don’t become grownups until somewhere around retirement age, which I believe is 92 ½ years. I can’t be sure what the actual retirement age is, because I myself am not a grown-up.
In researching this topic I came across what I thought would be a great resource. I was looking for source materials on what it means to be a grown-up and found a film made by a highly regarded documentarian by the name of Adam Sandler. The documentary was called “Grown Ups”, and I was certain it would give me all the information I would need. It did not. (62% Rotten Tomatoes? That’s a bit generous.) Since I don’t want to waste your time with the rudimentary information I gleaned from said film, I will give you a basic rundown of what it means to be an adult man vs. a grown-up man.
- Adult men have their oil changed. Grown-up men change their own oil (without saying Ew! So Slimy!”)
- Adult men shave their face (or trim their beard/mustache.) Grown-up men shave their face (or trim their beard/mustache) without accidentally piercing their jugular because they were simultaneously practicing the hottest touchdown dance of the early 90’s, “The Icky Shuffle.”
- Adult men save money for retirement. Grown-up men do so via non-baseball card, comic book, or beanie-baby based investments.
It’s this type of growth that I am constantly trying to achieve. As I said earlier, I’m not even close yet. Sometimes I succeed. Most of the time I fail. That doesn’t mean that I give up though. I keep trying, and failing, and trying, and failing; but I never quit. Because I have faith. I know that if I just keep getting up and putting my best effort, eventually I’ll fail in such catastrophic fashion, that my wife will have no choice but to take over and fix it for good.
Take this blog for example. I wanted to create something that other men could look at and maybe see themselves in. I wanted them to feel like there was someone out there who understood their struggles, and went through many of the same things. When I told my wife I wanted to start a blog called “Look at My Manhood” she laughed at me. I’m sure it was because she thought I didn’t have the wherewithal (which is definitely a made up word.)
That’s why she said “Please do…Please start lookatmymanhood.com, and tell everyone you know that it’s your website. I’ll even pay for it!” I couldn’t tell if she was being sarcastic, or serious. Usually in such situations with my wife, I pick whichever scenario benefits me more at that moment.
So I took the money and went after my dream. I want as many guys to look at my manhood as possible, and compare it to their own manhood. Wait a minute. Oh crap. Now I see why she was laughing. Oh well, I already paid for the domain name for 6 years (it was cheaper that way.) At least it’s just my wife laughing at me for creating the site. It’s not like your wife or girlfriend is going to look into your web history and see lookatmymanhood.com and make fun of YOU. Oh. Wait again. Double crap. Just read it.
If you’d like to read more, check out the next post!